I thought standing in the garage with my hands full after work and puking macerated oranges into my dirty smoothie cup was going to be my big "low." But then, after three weeks of suffering through debilitating headaches and migraines, there was that night when Patrick informed me, "you just aspirated on your own vomit" through a crack in the bathroom door. Even worse, I couldn't get out my response of "Who else's vomit would I be choking on, smart ass?" And then, right when I thought I was emerging from the pukey fog of the 1st trimester, I found myself shoveling a pile of vomit out of the bathroom sink with a paper plate (I couldn't make it to the toilet, just two feet away).
These were just a few of my 1st trimester lows.
|This baby better be good.|
Oh, and if you're not trying to keep your food down or battle an epic headache, there's the anxiety to keep you busy. Am I screwing this up? Am I doing everything I can? Will I be a good mom? Will the baby be healthy? Will I have the kind of birth I want? Every twinge, cramp or sickness spells possible trouble in the mind of most pregnant moms. Is it Listeria? Flu? Oh god, is it a miscarriage?
|Two more grandbabies to add to the Cross family!|
I got to sit and talk pregnancy with my sister, who is due in March, and order my 1st maternity clothes with her input. I got to enjoy "baby hugs" from my sweet little niece and hear her chant "Go Emily's baby" as we sat in the living room before bedtime. When my oldest niece asked "is there a baby in your belly?" I could tell her "yes" and watch her big smile spread across her face. I still get to tell people about how my nephew said "I have a baby in my belly, too" after he heard the news. I get to ask about what baby hand-me-downs I might get from my oldest sister. Memories like these bring me so much joy.
One night when I couldn't get back to sleep after another middle-of-the night bathroom run, I looked at Patrick beside me and felt the intense love of a mother and a wife. Before ever seeing or touching our child, I could feel the overwhelming unconditional love well up inside of me. Love for our child and my husband and our little family. I was imagining embracing our child with overflowing love, knowing that I'm its one and only mother, here to nourish, protect and teach it.
These were just a few of the 1st trimester highs.
Now, at 14 weeks, I'm starting the next chapter of my pregnancy. The nausea is abating, the headaches are getting fewer and I can sometimes manage to stay up past 9pm. We're clearing out what used to be the office and making plans for the baby's room. Now, pregnancy starts to get fun!