2nd Trimester: The Golden Age

2nd trimester was the best! I walked quickly and lithely, I opened the refrigerator without dry heaving, I often went more than 30 minutes without having to pee and migraines were becoming a distant memory. My skin was clear and bright, and my pregnant double chin was only beginning to form. People told me I was "cute" and "tiny" and "glowing." The only thing I regret about my 2nd trimester is not gracefully accepting these compliments, and instead getting defensive of my future, bigger self. Instead of smiling and saying "thank you", I would ask the well-meaning person to "tell me that in 15 weeks." Or, upon hearing how "small" I looked, I would inform them "don't worry, I'll be huge in another three or four months." I wish I would have soaked up every last compliment and reveled in my little-bellied state.

24 weeks

 
I like to think that the biggest hurdle of my 2nd trimester was finding maternity jeans that actually fit. I bought three pairs of maternity jeans and all of them were terrible. It's unfortunate that I was never able to find a pair of jeans that were both long enough and didn't have that poopy-pants butt sag; but hey, it's skirt and dress weather now, so who cares. 2nd trimester life was good. Even with the constant tiredness, annoying back aches and evenings full of unexplained crying, I felt like a goddess of  life and fertility. The really hard stuff didn't start until the very end of my 2nd trimester, but we can talk about that when I give you the details on my 3rd trimester. Let's just pretend for now that the 2nd trimester is the golden age.

26 weeks pregnant and celebrating the Spring Equinox with my pregnant best friend  (notice skirt, no jeans)

Some of the best moments of my entire pregnancy happened in my 2nd trimester. I spent a week with my parents, also-pregnant sister and niece in Florida, three of my oldest friends came to visit for a weekend, and I met my niece a day after she was born. All three of these events would have been wonderful in their own right, but experiencing them while nurturing and growing our child made them priceless and unforgettable.

Hanging out on the beach with my sister and niece. 17 weeks pregnant

With my niece, then an only child. Now, she's a big sister!

A hike and a night on the town with my best hometown friends -- no big deal in the 2nd trimester!

Super sexy with my little 21-week bump

I met my newborn  niece Emma when I was nearly 25 weeks pregnant

Check out those feet!

Speaking of unforgettable, how about that 20 week ultrasound!? Holy moly was that incredible. Patrick and I got to see our baby for the first time, and we learned that we are having a son. That boy was moving so much, it took several attempts to get some decent pictures of him. We got to see his big lips, cute little nose, crossed legs and yep, his little testicles. Upon seeing those testicles for the first time, I said "Ooooh my god, what am I going to do with a boy?" I was in no way disappointed -- I already loved that boy so, so much -- but I did need to take some time to grieve the feminist flower-child daughter my intuition and dreams told me I was having.

 I took some time to grieve being a mother of a daughter and all that comes with it -- I was primed and ready to raise an empowered, body-positive girl and to be there at her wedding, birth and postpartum journey. I'm starting to feel more confident in my ability to raise a respectful, knowledgeable and empowered boy, even though I  have no clue what I'm doing. Growing up with two sisters made me feel like I was more prepared  for raising a girl. The truth is, I don't have a clue how to raise a child at all, whether it's a girl or a boy. I'll be learning as I go, and I'll be doing the best I can.

27 weeks and saying goodbye to the Goddess Months of the 2nd trimester

Let's just forget about raising a child for now. I've still got the rest of my 3rd trimester to go. And, oh yeah, that thing called "birth."

The Highs and Lows of Growing a Human: 1st Trimester Edition

For a split second, I thought I might try to compare growing a human to growing a garden. Then, that split second was over and I cringed. Nope, not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent. It would be worse than comparing having a dog to raising a child. Yes, there are highs and lows in gardening, and extreme highs and lows in pregnancy, but that's where I'm going to stop the comparison. This is a gardening blog, and I'm growing a human. I'll let you know how growing a garden while growing a human goes when Spring comes along. Fair? Okay. For now, let's talk about that roller-coaster ride we call life...while creating and growing life.

I thought standing in the garage with my hands full after work and puking macerated oranges into my dirty smoothie cup was going to be my big "low." But then, after three weeks of suffering through debilitating headaches and migraines, there was that night when Patrick  informed me, "you just aspirated on your own vomit" through a crack in the bathroom door. Even worse, I couldn't get out my response of "Who else's vomit would I be choking on, smart ass?" And then, right when I thought I was emerging from the pukey fog of the 1st trimester, I found myself shoveling a pile of vomit out of the bathroom sink with a paper plate (I couldn't make it to the toilet, just two feet away).

These were just a few of my 1st trimester lows.

This baby better be good.

Let's be perfectly honest, the knowledge that I was finally going to become a mother and see Patrick become a father didn't make the migraines, vomiting, nausea, constant dry heaving and extreme exhaustion any easier or more welcome. I don't care how badly you want to be a mom, feeling like complete shit every day really sucks.

Oh, and if you're not trying to keep your food down or battle an epic headache, there's the anxiety to keep you busy. Am I screwing this up? Am I doing everything I can? Will I be a good mom? Will the baby be healthy? Will I have the kind of birth I want? Every twinge, cramp or sickness spells possible trouble in the mind of most pregnant moms. Is it Listeria? Flu? Oh god, is it a miscarriage?

11 weeks

The possibility for miscarriage in the 1st trimester is high, and the main reason for anxiety during those fragile first three months. It's also why there's a socially accepted rule that you don't tell anyone you're pregnant until after week 12, when the possibility declines sharply. But I'm not that into rules, especially that one. For me personally -- and I want to make it clear that I know it's not the same for every woman -- I didn't think I'd want to go through the grief and healing process after a miscarriage in secret. I would want my closest friends and family to know what I was going through. Plus, you usually feel the worst during the 1st trimester, and somehow that's when you're not supposed to talk to anyone about it? That didn't make sense to me. Furthermore, keeping a pregnancy a secret involves a lot of lying and/or evading. I'm no good at either. Not to mention that pregnancy is a huge life event that practically begs to be blurted out any time you talk to anyone. Clearly, I'm not a fan of the "12 week rule" at all.

12+4 weeks

So, we told some select people as soon as the opportunity arose. And I'm so, so happy we did. I had a sister-in-law and a few close friends to talk/complain to and who I knew would be incredibly supportive of me if things didn't work out. Then, when I was 9 weeks along, we told my family in person over Thanksgiving. That was one of the major highs of my 1st trimester. They were thrilled.

Two more grandbabies to add to the Cross family!

I got to sit and talk pregnancy with my sister, who is due in March, and order my 1st maternity clothes with her input. I got to enjoy "baby hugs" from my sweet little niece and hear her chant "Go Emily's baby" as we sat in the living room before bedtime. When my oldest niece asked "is there a baby in your belly?" I could tell her "yes" and watch her big smile spread across her face. I still get to tell people about how my nephew said "I have a baby in my belly, too" after he heard the news.  I get to ask about what baby hand-me-downs I might get from my oldest sister. Memories like these bring me so much joy.

One night when I couldn't get back to sleep after another middle-of-the night bathroom run, I looked at Patrick beside me and felt the intense love of a mother and a wife. Before ever seeing or touching our child, I could feel the overwhelming unconditional love well up inside of me. Love for our child and my husband and our little family. I was imagining embracing our child with overflowing love, knowing that I'm its one and only mother, here to nourish, protect and teach it.
These were just a few of the 1st trimester highs.

13+5 weeks

Now, at 14 weeks, I'm starting the next chapter of my pregnancy. The nausea is abating, the headaches are getting fewer and I can sometimes manage to stay up past 9pm. We're clearing out what used to be the office and making plans for the baby's room. Now, pregnancy starts to get fun!

Bring on the Bulbs!

Want some early-spring bloomers to help you embrace warming temperatures and longer days next year? Now is the time to put on an embarrassing high school sweatshirt and plop down in the dirt with some bad-ass bulbs. Oh, and don't forget the power tool.

My bulb-planting station last weekend: two kinds off Allium bulbs, a sharp trowel, power tool and planting guide

I've been getting a lot of questions from friends about bulb planting, so this blog post will be based on all of the questions that I've heard lately. I've planted summer and fall-blooming bulbs in the spring (Gladiolas and Crocus), but this is my first experience with spring-blooming bulbs, so all of the following information comes from a lot of research and just a little bit of experience. If you've been reading my blog even a little, you should be used to this by now.

When should I plant my spring-blooming bulbs?
When low temperatures start dipping into the 40's and threaten to sink into the 30's, it's time to get your fall planting into gear. You want to get them in the ground before it freezes solid, and after the leaves start falling. The end of September and pretty much all of October are generally a good time to plant both hardy perennials and spring-blooming bulbs-- even if we have an epic snowfall or two, which is bound to happen here on the Front Range of Colorado.

What kind of conditions do bulbs like?
Depends on the type, but there is a saying that "bulbs don't like to get their feet wet", which means that they don't like to be sitting in wet conditions. Yes, that's actually a saying, and yes I'm a nerd.  It means that they don't like water-retaining, slow-draining soil like clay, and they shouldn't be planted in areas that tend to hold water, like the bottom of hills. I am trying to defy nature by planting some bulbs in both conditions this year, so I'll tell you in the Spring how that worked out for me.I figured we don't get enough rain in these parts to worry about too much moisture, but still, probably not the smartest thing I've done.

Tulips love sun, Ipheion can handle a lot of shade, Allium and Daffodils like both, and Muscari (Hyacinth) will grow pretty much anywhere you drop the bulbs. The bag of bulbs will tell you what kind of sun they need. Keep in mind that the early-spring sun conditions will be different in your garden than in mid-summer (Science!), so plan your planting accordingly.

There is no need to fertilize your bulbs when you plant them -- the bulb itself is an energy-storing device that provides plenty of food to get the bulb growing when the time comes (again, Science!).

How do I plant them? And how deep?
Power tools! You don't need an electric screwdriver to plant bulbs, but it's a lot cooler if you use one. A couple of years ago, I bought this sweet oversized-corkscrew attachment that you use in an electric screwdriver to create holes in the ground for bulbs. It makes planting bulbs a little easier, but really I just use it because it makes me feel powerful. If you aren't lucky enough to have this, just use a gardening trowel and your hands to make space for the bulb.

Most bulbs need to be planted down to 2 to 4 inches, and the large bulbs need to be planted down to 6 to 8 inches. The bag of bulbs should say right on it what it needs, but if you aren't sure, you should be safe in the 4-inch range unless you have a very large bulb.

Bulb depth planting guide.

Starting an 8-inch hole for large Allium "Mount Everest" bulbs. I dug the hole deeper with a trowel and my finger(nail)s.

As for spacing, I noticed that all of the bags would say how many bulbs to put in a square foot, not how many inches apart they should be, like regular perennials. That's because you can plant some bulbs right next to each other. Bulbs per square foot can range from 3 for large bulbs to 16 for small bulbs. Taking all of the bulbs I planted this fall into account, I'd say a safe average is 10 per square foot. The huge Allium bulbs I planted, called "Mount Everest," are a rare type of bulb that needs to be planted deep and given space.

What kind of bulbs did you plant this year?
This is a common question between gardeners, and you'll need an answer if you want to join our cool-kids club.

I planted two kinds of Tulips together:

"Cynthia"

"Little Princess"

Two kinds of Allium (a.k.a. Ornamental Onion):

"Drumstick"

"Mount Everest"

I planted two miniature species together:

Mini Iris "Harmony"

Mini Daffodil "Tete-a-Tete"

 And, I planted white Ipheion in my shady, already Hyacinth-filled flower bed by our front door:

Ipheion "Alberto Castillo"

Muscari "Grape Hyacinth"

What bulbs did you plant?

First Frost

I suffered some real late-season garden fatigue in August; I didn't really do much in the garden except come home from a week or weekend away and violently pull bindweed while cursing like a sailor. Now, we are bouncing back from our first frost and I'm all sad about the summer coming to a close. Gardening can be one hell of an emotional rollercoaster!

What it looks like when Bindweed takes over -- this can happen in a week or two if I don't fight it.

Just as I was taking the unusually wet summer and lush landscape for granted, I get reminded how short-lived our growing season really is around here. We had our last snow storm on May 11th, and our first frost on September 12th. It got down to 35 degrees on Thursday night, so I had the garden and large deck containers covered for two days. I brought all of my smaller containers inside and harvested all of my cucumbers and quite a few tomatoes. There are still a ton of green tomatoes left, so I'm holding out hope for several more to ripen on the vine, but with these short days, it's not looking good.

Tomatoes harvested early and ripening in the windowsill. Covered deck containers and garden in background.

Frosty sunflower Saturday morning

First Frost - Veronica ground cover

Covered veggie garden - I gave up on my green beans; they didn't fare well this season.

I'm getting over the disappointment of an underperforming veggie garden. My cucumbers and green beans didn't even do well! Sing it with me: "Let it go. Let it go-oooh!" At least I have tons of carrots and onions? Looking for some silver lining here. It's so strange that our wettest summer was such a disappointment in the veggie garden department. I'm guessing it's because we didn't have a lot of sun and heat to get things off to a good start in May and June. Well, my flower garden did awesome this year, and for that I can be grateful.

The sun is shining, the sky is that clear "Colorado blue" and the temperature is back up in the upper 70's. It should hold steady there for several more days, at least. I have a ton of fall planting and maintenance I want to do, so it's back to work for me!

Why We Take "Before and After" Pictures

I took a stroll down memory lane the other day and clicked through our "New House!" photo album from over three years ago. Boy did it make me feel good to see how far we've come.

I highly recommend this confidence-boosting exercise to everyone -- whether you're a gardener or not. Take a look at the very first photos you took when you moved into your current place, look at old photos of your kids, and definitely look at throwback high school and middle school pictures to feel the rush of pride at how much you've grown and changed since those pictures were taken.

After looking at pictures of our yard taken in the Spring of 2011, I feel like I can do anything.

The first picture is the earliest picture of the back yard that I could find.

Old deck, old dog run in the background and young pup in the foreground

Awww look how little Scout is! We moved the fence and gate to create a landscape side and a fenced-in garden side

Unfortunately, I haven't retired that "outfit" yet. Not really something to be proud of, but whatever.

The family before us used the back part of the backyard as a dog run, so I spent a couple of weekends digging up weeds and picking up large piles of dog poop

What I call the "wildflower patch" to the right of the garden beds

Inside of garden fence 2011. Hollyhock in left corner has now abundantly self-sowed through this area.

 Like I said in my first post back, I like to embrace growth and change. Especially when it looks like this:

View from deck in May 2014

Landscape in early June 2014 - green grass complements of a wet Spring

Full-grown Scout and always-growing landscape in July 2014

Landscape in July 2014

Inside of garden area with self-sowing Hollyhocks dominating, July 2014

Other side of garden fence, July 2014

Veggie garden in early June 2014

Garden in early July 2014

Wildflower patch and garden in 2014

Wildflower patch in 2012

Wildflower patch 2014 - Wild Four O'Clock below sunflowers

When we were visiting my in-laws in Wisconsin over Memorial Day weekend, my mother-in-law told me she gives me credit for getting anything at all to grow in our less-than-ideal gardening conditions. I replied humbly, "I give me credit, too!" It's a good feeling to allow yourself to be proud of what you've done. If I compared my little beginner garden to the those of more experienced gardeners, I'd never feel proud of what I've accomplished. So I say forget about comparing yourself to others; compare you to you and let yourself enjoy the pride of how you've grown and changed.